10 step guide to achieving self-love

We can all be a little guilty of being unkind to ourselves and not giving ourselves the TLC we need and deserve. Some small changes to your lifestyle and reframing the way you think about yourself will work wonders for your mental well-being and help you on the path to achieving self-love.


  1. There’s no such thing as perfection

We’ve all heard it before but it’s the truth. Aiming for perfection is an unrealistic expectation to put on yourself, meaning you will always feel as though you have failed. Manage your expectations of yourself, set realistic goals and forgive yourself for not getting everything right all of the time. Once you can accept that, then you’re on the right path to being kinder to yourself.

  1. You are your own person – no one compares

You are the only you in the whole world. No one else is like you so why do you want to try and be like anyone else? You should work on yourself because you want to. Not because you’ve seen someone who looks like they have it all sorted out (trust us, they don’t) but because you want to be the best version of yourself. When you stop comparing yourself to others and can focus just on your own life, you’ll start feeling more confident and positive.

  1. The past is the past

Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, whatever slip-ups you’ve had or things you wish you’d done differently don’t matter. All the decisions you have made in the past are history. Start looking forwards and not backward, and then you can work towards a happier, healthier future.

  1. Do what makes YOU happy

Self-love comes from doing the things that make you the happiest. If someone invites you to an event that you don’t want to go to then it’s okay to say no. Give a new hobby a try or spend some quality time with yourself. Whatever it is, keep asking yourself: “Is this making me happy”. If the answer is no, then it’s time for a change.

  1. Relationship review

Is everyone in your life having a positive impact on you? Take some time to reflect on your relationships and how they make you feel. Do they support you? Do you feel appreciated? Do you feel yourself around them? If you find yourself answering no to a lot of these questions it might be a sign that it’s not the best relationship. Surround yourself with people who are good for you and you will start feeling good about yourself.

  1. Talk to someone

Whether you talk to a trusted friend or family member or a GP, it’s just starting the conversation that matters most. Keeping everything bottled up never helps. The things that are bothering you probably bother lots of other people, so you’re not alone! Putting your thoughts and worries out there can help you feel lighter and less alone.

  1. Treat yourself

You deserve a treat now and then! Set yourself goals to work towards, and when you hit certain milestones you can justify a reward. It doesn’t have to be a hugely expensive purchase, let yourself have a lie in or have your favourite meal. It will make the achievement of reaching a goal feel even more worth it.

  1. Recognise your strengths

We’re all very good at picking out all of the things that are wrong with us and the things we want to change. But let’s change that and start recognising what we’re good at and what we love about ourselves. These can be professional or personal traits. Write them down and whenever you are having a low day or feeling unhappy with yourself read them out loud. It might feel silly at first but hearing the best things about yourself will give you a huge boost and help push away the negative thoughts.

  1. Healthy happy lifestyle

When you’re healthy you feel happier. Eating a healthy, balanced diet and exercising regularly boosts your mood and leaves you feeling more confident and positive. Also understanding your health and having regular check-ins means you can be aware of any potential health risks. Comprehensive blood tests can help give you an overview of your health and a GP can advise on any changes you can make to your lifestyle.

  1. Give yourself a break

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Life can be hard and you’re doing a great job!


Remember there’s always someone available to talk. If you have been feeling low or struggling with stress, anxiety or depression we can help. You can book an appointment with one of our GPs who will help in any way they can.